Kitchen Safety Tip #1: When wiping off the stove after cooking do NOT use a bone dry napkin. The flash point of a napkin isn’t very high.
Boyfriend/Husband Tip #1: When your girlfriend/wife asks if she’s too fat, the correct answer is not, “where”?
Boyfriend/Husband Tip # 2: Turning jello upside down to see if it’s set is stupid. Turning it upside down when it’s not set is even more stupid. Turning it upside down over your wife’s/girlfriend’s head – is asking for divorce/breakup.
Dining Tip #1: If a Chinese restaurant has cream cheese wontons for a quarter on Wednesdays, it does not mean that eating 20 of them is a good idea.
Handy Kitchen Tip # 3: If you have a cheap pot with a screw-on handle, one that tends to loosen over time – the solution is NOT to “periodically tighten the handle”.The solution IS to replace the pot before the “pasta in sauce”that you just cooked gets dumped onto your lap resulting in second degree burns in “unfortunate” places.
Motorcycle Safety Tip # 1: A motorcycle’s hot chrome exhaust looks exactly like a cold chrome exhaust, but feels much different.
Handy Kitchen Tip # 2:When you reach into the fridge to drink the last little bit of apple juice straight from the carton, make sure you grab the apple juice. Chicken broth doesn’t quite have the same refreshing flavor.