Old Guys Giving Advice

The 17th Law Of Thermodynamics clearly states: Socks cannot be created or destroyed, but one member of a pair can convert itself into an extra…

Over my 30+ years work experience, one thing has been proven to me – time after time: For every “idiot proof system” ever devised –…

“Everybody dies… Someone’s carryin’ a bullet for you right now and doesn’t even know it. The trick is to die of old age before it…

A computer program will always do what you tell it to – and seldom what you want it to.

I always try to go the extra mile at work, but my boss always finds me and brings me back.

“Stress” is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven’t fallen asleep yet.

“Preacher, don’t the Bible have some pretty specific things to say about killing?”“Quite specific. It is, however, somewhat fuzzier on the subject of kneecaps.”

If you’re paddling upstream in a canoe and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes fit in a doghouse? None! Ice cream doesn’t have bones!!!

Me: “So I calculated it. It would only take about 400 people to get enough iron to forge a long sword.” Friend:”What?” Me: “You know….